Category Archives: Writing

Broken Lines: LO

  The cowboy is tired and a bit cranky.

 ”Whaaat?” asks the spaceman in disbelief. “No, it’s cool! Like a mascot!”

 They sit in the rear booth of the Stop-N-Go Diner just off of Route 28. Two cups of coffee rest on the table, surrounded by breakfast debris. Above the din of order-taking, small-talking, and determined mastication rises the tinny sound of that godawful “Life Is A Highway” song. (more…)


Let’s Talk About Art.com and Allposters.com

art_logoRecently it was brought to my attention that my artwork, along with art from a large number of other poster makers, was being sold without artist authorization on a couple of home decor/’art’ websites. Art.com/Allposters.com had the brilliant money-making notion to buy the books Gigposters Vol 1 and 2, cut out the pages, and offer them as framed “art prints.” This has not engendered good feelings from the poster artist community affected. Discussing the copyright/intellectual property legalities of this situation is beyond my purview, so I’m not going to get into that. What I’d like to do here is discuss the poor business decisions and murky ethical practices of this endeavor. (more…)


Easter Morning

We’re standing across the street from our house early on Easter morning, surveying our grand 1/8th acre estate and discussing our yard work plans for spring. I tell Sarah I will be smarter this year and trim the hedge along the fence before it blooms. I realize that the phrase “nip it in the bud” has a real-world literal meaning. It had honestly never occurred to me before. (more…)


UHF

It was the summer of ‘86 and Eddie couldn’t hit a dog’s ass with a fistful of TV Guides. He spent long stifling nights on his porch, coaxing clear signal from his portable black and white Japanese television set. Had particular trouble getting channel 32 from out Waterville way. Horizontal lines, verticals not holding, frequencies fighting frequencies on the inside of the little Shibaura’s picture tube. (more…)


A Minor Inconvenience

Coop continued, undaunted by her eye-rolling. “So I run in super-fast for a coffee and this one ponytailed hip-dad was totally holding up the line—”

“Wait,” Lucy interrupted. “’Held up’ like stickup or ‘held up’ like slow?”

“I think it’s pretty obvious,” Coop sighed as he stepped behind the counter. In a mournful voice: “He got everything, even my lighter. I’m penniless.” (more…)


New Orleans, 1995

In February of 1995, I took an unplanned trip to New Orleans. It was unplanned in the sense that I did not have a plan. I’ve always had a bad memory, and I figure it’ll do nothing but get worse from here on out, so I’ve decided to try and write down what I can recall. (more…)


Reading, And Also Writing

I just finished re-reading Kurt Vonnegut’s A Man Without A Country. Back when it came out in ‘05, I wasn’t particularly excited about it. I was an active Vonnegut nerd and I felt like I’d heard or read or seen most of the thin book already – in interviews, online, and at a talk he gave at Smith College (I guess that was back in 2000, 2001?). (more…)


Fudgicle vs. Fudgsicle

There has been a long-running disagreement in my brain concerning my tendency to say “fudgicle” even though all packaging and humans around me clearly pointed towards “fudgsicle.” Last night I took part in a lively scholarly debate, and some research was conducted on various handheld Internet-enabled devices. REVELATIONS OCCURRED. (more…)


Stunt Design

There’s an insidious monster whispering in the ears of amateur illustrators and designers, haunting Twitter feeds and blogs and tumblrs across the web. It isn’t an art movement or anything, it’s an internet trend. I have come to refer to it in my head as Stunt Design.

Stunt Design, n. The phenomenon of designers & illustrators creating gimmicky graphics purely in the hopes of ‘going viral’ on pop culture/arts blogs. (more…)


“ALL”

I have very recently finished “THAT IS ALL,” the third and final book of COMPLETE WORLD KNOWLEDGE by Massachusetts native Mister John Hodgman. Having read the series almost in its entirety (excluding the hobo name list, because at the time I WAS JUST NOT IN THE MOOD), I am now probably like, 98% knowledgeable in COMPLETE WORLDLY FAKE TRIVIA. Well, except I forget stuff pretty easily. DO NOT QUIZ ME. (more…)