Quotes, Part Two

I’ve always been a quote-collector. Scribblin’ ’em down, trying to figure out if they are useable in any way, inevitably doing nothing but cutting & pasting them into WordPress. I gathered a batch together for a blog post last year, and it appears that I’ve backlogged another big pile of ’em. So here they are. Read them. Click here to see my other quote posts.


“…Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you.”
Steve Jobs

“Does the full moon affect people’s behavior, you ask? Yup. It makes people think the full moon affects people’s behavior.”
Neil DeGrasse Tyson

“I had to pick on someone, so I picked on you.”
— David Bowie, Starman

“People who live in glass houses have to answer the door.”
— Karl Pilkington

“Science does not purvey absolute truth, science is a mechanism. It’s a way of trying to improve your knowledge of nature, it’s a system for testing your thoughts against the universe and seeing whether they match.”
— Isaac Asimov

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.”
— James Baldwin

“The intellectual heritage of the race belongs to the minority.”
— H.L. Mencken

“Marathe wondered why the presence of Americans could always make him feel vaguely ashamed after saying things he believed.”
— David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest

“The trouble begins with a design philosophy that equates ‘more options’ with ‘greater freedom.'”
— Brian Eno on the current state of software and hardware design

“It is difficult to talk about what I do, because I do it so I don’t have to talk about it.”
Charles M. Schulz

“…Don’t let me ever hear you say, ‘I can’t read fiction. I only have time for the truth.’ Fiction is the truth, fool! Ever hear of ‘literature’? That means fiction, too, stupid.”
— John Waters

“When the living creatures went, the wheels went with them…”
— Ezekiel 1:15-25

“I’ll wear a diaper. I don’t give a shit.”
— Joan Rivers, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work

“Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.”
— E.B. White

“Being a famous designer is like being a famous dentist.”
— Noreen Morioka

“A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.”
— Greek proverb

“Don’t take yourself too seriously. And take yourself as seriously as death itself.”
— Bruce Springsteen (SXSW 2012)

“Senator, when you took your oath of office, you placed your hand on the Bible and swore to uphold the Constitution. You didn’t place your hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible.”
— Jamie Raskin, testifying before the Maryland State Senate, 2006

“We write frankly and fearlessly but then we ‘modify’ before we print.”
— Mark Twain, Life On The Missisippi

“Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”
— Douglas Adams

“GLENN BECK HAS NAZI TOURETTES!”
Lewis Black

“Keep a light, hopeful heart. But ­expect the worst.”
— Joyce Carol Oates, on writing

“If a tree falls in space, no one can hear it scream.”
— Tom Pappalardo

“All our shows are secret shows.”
— Kim Pine, Scott Pilgrim

“In Dr. Johnson’s famous dictionary, patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer, I beg to submit that it is the first.”
Ambrose Bierce

“I cannot remember the books I’ve read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I’m someone who has a deep emotional attachment to Starsky and Hutch.”
— President Bill Clinton

“You are only pretentious if you are not sincere.”
John Hodgman

“When the world is running down, you make the best of what’s still around.”
— Sting/The Police

“You have broad rights and freedoms in your house design, and narrower but stronger duties of stewardship to your community and species.”
— Jim Locke, The Well-Built House

“Videri quam esse” (Latin for “To seem to be, rather than to be,” a backwards version of North Carolina’s state motto)
Inscribed above the fireplace on the set of The Colbert Report

“For in much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.”
— Ecclesiates 1:18

“A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.”
— Oscar Wilde

“I wear it when I take the trash out, I wear it when I have a fat steak on the grill, I wear it when I’m takin’ a leak, I wear it when I answer the door, I wear it when I don’t answer the door. For some reason, the left would have you believe I’m some kinda crazy right-winger bent on Bible-thumping or something. That would be the furthest thing from the truth. I wear it because it’s my right as an American. I wear it because I have the right to defend myself. I wear it because I f-ing CAN! No, I’m not paranoid. I wear this thing all around my house because I can. Nothing more, nothing less. If that bothers you, I will take out a loan to buy you a one-way ticket out of the free world, asshole!”
— some blogger that really really likes his gun

“Wait until the moon is out, then go outside, eat a multi-grained bread and play your guitar to a bush. If the bush dosen’t shake, eat another piece of bread.”
— Captain Beefheart (from his 10 Commandments Of Guitar Playing)

“You can’t tell if you’ve crossed a line until you’ve crossed it.” – Dave Chappelle

Click here to see my other quote posts.

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